Child Rearing: Are We Going to Soft?



In our current society we hear lots of adults talking about the consequences of so called child abuse. At the same time there seems to be an increase in problematic children in our society. So it begs the question are we being to soft on our youth?

Before child abuse laws were put into effect parents were laying the law down and setting a firm ground work on good moral values. Of course, there always exceptions to this and hence why child abuse laws were made. However it seems now that even the smallest form of disciplining a child is considered child abuse these days. Is there no limit on how limiting we can get with our laws?

I am not saying that it’s bad to have child abuse laws in our books, but I hardly think a harsh spanking should be considered child abuse.  This is my thought though and I would love to hear from those who read this to leave their thoughts about the current laws we have in place to protect children from abuse.


Tags: , , , , , , ,

11 responses to “Child Rearing: Are We Going to Soft?”

  1. TracesoftheSoul says :

    A little swat on the behind to stop your toddler from running into the street is one thing but a spanking to teach him or her a lesson only teaches them fear…not to get caught and for some, to instill the same force when they get big enough. In most cases the physical discipline is usually given out of anger which is also teaching the child contradictory lessons on “self-control”. My thoughts on that.

    • naokihan says :

      Thanks for commenting on the post. I really appreciate the feedback. I do understand that it can cause the individual to choose to work harder on not being caught rather than learning that the action itself just shouldn’t be done. I know I’ve been on that same boat growing up as a child. Not having had a child of my own yet I would have to say that perhaps I’m being a bit presumptuous with this post. However, as someone that is currently working as a caregiver it makes me wonder about behavior; especially bad behavior. Obviously with my work the situations are a bit different from the typical child, but for individuals that are high functioning I would have to say that sometimes I am very appalled by some of the behaviors that I have observed. I would have to say that parenting is probably one of the hardest jobs out there; especially for those that are single parents. This topic I feel is a rather gray area. With each child being their own unique case there probably really isn’t any good method for disciplining a child. My only thoughts on this topic after further observations has been the use of distraction through productive activities that use the individual’s strength(s).

      • TracesoftheSoul says :

        I am a youth and family counsellor, Family Life Educator working with youths but worked poarents for several years. The best literature I recommend to parents is Jane Nelson is a mom, grandmdother, family psychotherapist who created this programme for parents and for teachers. It is a new approach that empowers you to take responsibility for their actions. It starts at wee ages to teens, youths with disabilities etc. good stuff

      • TracesoftheSoul says :

        Can`t say I did the best as a mom of 2 and now am a grandmother of a 9yr old …it is the toughest job…the most perfect parents are those who have no kids…before I had kids, I was going to have the perfect kids…it;s like you said, each child is unique with their individual personalities.

      • naokihan says :

        Thanks for the link. I’ll have to go check that out. I think that being a parent is the necessary step for becoming better at parent by the time one becomes a grandparent.

      • TracesoftheSoul says :

        this link may be a start to your answers …they offer training …train the trainer…you end up facilitating groups…good luck; oh and the books are many in public libraries, so don’t buy any to just check them out

      • naokihan says :

        I’ve always been rather stubborn and nit picky about borrowing things, but I suppose it’s time to put that aside and start using the resources that are available to me.

      • TracesoftheSoul says :

        When you go to big libraries, you look for one book and fall on 2 or 3 other amazing finds! I do believe that books find us:)

      • naokihan says :

        I do believe that things happen to us for a reason. I suppose the other reason I’ve never really like borrowing is just the fact that I do enjoy collecting books to read. Of course, to do so is rather expensive.

  2. rinekat says :

    I believe in setting practical boundaries and using a lot of common sense as the child grows. I often pose this question to young parents, ” Does your toddler sit and finish his/her meal or do you chase him/her around the house?” More often than not, the answer is running after their child to persuade them to eat up.

    Common sense tells me to sit kiddo on a stool or a baby child and only let him/her down after the completion of a meal. Maybe this only happens to Malaysian parents. 🙂

    I currently have a new student, Miss 4 whose mantra is “I don’t want”. Getting what she wants has been her chief preoccupation and her carers give in to her every whim. Sure, I have witnessed Aunty cajoling her into acquiescence and Grandma alternately threatening and telling white lies to gain co-operation. Again, perhaps this only happen in my country? I only know I have an uphill task to educate Miss 4 intellectually and changing her drama princess’ behaviors.

    • naokihan says :

      Boundaries are a good thing, but sometimes those boundaries may not be enough. Some of the stuff I’ve witnessed currently after having published this post a while back has been amazingly bad. It’s almost like the only thing that can possibly make any difference in that individual is having a real taste of reality. To know how hard it can be to take care of oneself by their own two hands.

      I wish you luck on with with that young lady. Sounds like she is a handful.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: